Go Fuck Yourself

Kevin,

This is the last letter or whatever the fuck you wanna call it, that I'll write to you. I don't think you even fucking remember or care about this place. Regardless, it's here in case genius ever strikes & you wonder what the fuck happened to me or simply remember this place.

I don't know what game you think you're playing, but it's clearly a one player game because I'm not playing it. Overall, I think I have been faaaairly understanding & even sympathetic! to the fact you woke up & suddenly realized long distance wasn't doable for you. Forget the fact you've been in them before & one miiiight think that would have given you a taste of what it's like & whether or not it was for you, but! I digress. This isn't about the fact you led me on basically & broke my heart in the process but then again I guess I fucking "love differently." my bad. & ya know what? I'm not gonna apologize for it :) Nor am I going to feel bad if you ever do read this letter & end up feeling guilty or whatever. Anyways, I once again digress in the point of this letter. This isn't about that, this about what you apparently call "friendship." (I see now why your ex Kat decided not to keep in contact with you because what's the point? You clearly don't seem to care to keep in contact anyways)

I fucking forgave you for your childish (what I perceived to be impulsive) fucked up behavior of taking what you wanted & spewing sweet bullshit at me before ripping it away; & was willing to be friends with you because hey, we can be semi-mature about this right? I guess I was once again wrong. I'm not sure if California shit says friends ignore, go days without a hello or how are you or what exactly the ground rules learned in Cali are regarding friends but we? Aren't friends. To me, friendship is an active it takes two, different RELATIONSHIP, but a relationship nonetheless between two or more people. Who shocker, actively try to remain in contact with one another. They don't go days without so much as a hello, they don't take hours to respond when they are talking to the person & they don't make their friend feel like they're somehow less important than someone else.

What could I possibly mean by this?! So glad you asked :) I'll explain. So, your excuses (which is exactly what they are) to the fact we suddenly barely talk anymore is that you "do this to everyone" & it's basically not personal. Well sir, it sure as fuck feels god damn personal to me considering I am your fucking ex & the fact your ass seems to be able to go on Facebook with no issues & talk to everyone there. :) I know this because I accidentally clicked on your profile when I meant to click my brothers. You're both wearing red in your profile pictures & I was half asleep. So, needless to say I was there anyways & so I scrolled. It's wonderful to see the Mr. "no life" Mr. "I do this to everyone, I am not ignoring" was not only able to be on Facebook & post a status, but also like comments from random girl friends asking for you to message aka TALK to them & that you've clearly been texting another girl (Alyssa) & I am damn sure have been in contact with Kayla, you're old female BFF. All with then the past few days.


Yet..LOL you couldn't be FUCKED to respond to a kik message I sent you TWO fucking days ago?! Where hey, maybe a congrats or that's cool would have been in order considering I was sharing some interesting news with you (the ending was a bit sarcastic but you know me) I'm sorry, I am your ex, I am not as pretty or skinny or wonderful or I live a long distance from you or I have mental disorders & my own host of shit or that I am older than you or whatever the god damn FUCK it is, that makes these girl friends these other people obviously more important & worth communicating with than me. But guess what? I'm done. You can go right the fuck ahead & flirt, or make them all feel special like you did with me, get them to fall in love, or just fuck around WHATEVER it is you do with these girls isn't my business & I don't care, but I want no part in your life.

I guess I not only love differently, but when it comes to friends I am DIFFERENT there too. :) I am NOT a "Oh I'll text or kik her when I am bored" person. I am not a second choice, I am NOT an option & I fucking refuse to be treated as such, god I deserved so much more from you. No one is ever too busy (especially you Mr. I have no life) that they can't get back to a friend in a timely fashion. It's about priorities. It's about whether or not that person wishes to make a effort. I had better, more stimulating conversation with you when I was choking on your dick. I called you a true friend when I was dating you because at least then you made the effort & time to communicate; it's too bad I was too blind to see that it was all a lie. What I do with my life, including suicide is no long your concern & you've made that clear. You are a selfish child. I don't know if it's just too hard for you to talk with me considering what you did to me & the fact I loved you or what you're deal is, but uh hey, you had no problems sacking the fuck up & telling me we were over--so it shouldn't have been an issue for you to tell me you just can't be friends with me. I would have had so much more respect for you. But this? Is all about Kevin & what makes Kevin sleep better at night & what false promises Kevin can continue to give or say so that he doesn't feel guilty. I am over it. A hundred. I refuse to partake anymore in the fuckng Kevin Show & placating your guilty conscious because you chose to jump into a relationship & not give a shit about the consequences.

I really do hope some day, some girl does what you did to me. Only then will you ever truly be able to appreciate the loss, pain & feelings of betrayal that you gave to me. Normally, I wouldn't wish what you did & this "friendship" we had on anyone, but for you? I would make an exception because it's a learning process :) a valuable life lesson it seems you need to be taught. You can't do the shit you do Kevin & expect people to be okay in the end. You can't break them & try to glue them back by giving them more false promises of friendship or whatever.


I deserved better & I finally love myself enough to realize this & to not play this game & get my feelings hurt anymore.


Have a sellar life & remember: Karma will come for you, it's just a matter of time.

Don't bother talking to me again.

I'll have nothing nice to say to you.

-Lily